Hi, I'm looking for mature answers. I'm 19 years old and I have only had one sexual partner, my fiance. I don't know what an orgasm is and I am convinced that the majority of women are like me, although my fiance, who is much more experienced than I am, believes otherwise. He is very frustrated because I have not orgasmed once ever since we started having sex. I really don't want to think that there is something wrong with me. Are the majority of women really like me? I keep telling him it doesn't matter but he makes a very big deal out of it. I'm very confused and don't know how to explain things. Please help me get a concensus on this!
When I was around your age, I never had the big O either… very frustrating too, because I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. It sounds like your fiance's trying to imply that too… I got the same advice you did, get to know what feels good to you, etc., but I already knew what worked for me and I couldn't get it to happen with my fiance.
I didn't have that problem so much when I got older, so in retrospect, I think it was due to the fact that at that age I was just so damn nervous about having sex that I couldn't get fully into it. It isn't that I wasn't enjoying it, but you know, you have these expectations to deal with, and if you feel like you have to have the big O or he will be disappointed… that's not helping! So tell your fiance to ease up on the pressure about the big O. Unlike guys, it doesn't have to happen every single time for a woman anyway!
I'd say the most important thing about having sex is to ask, does it feel good, are you enjoying it? Tell him to concentrate on that instead!